Carried

Two weeks ago, a member of my ward called and asked me to play the organ for the stake choir for Stake Conference. It was kind of thrown at me so quickly, that I responded yes without thinking of what it would really entail. I naively hoped that we would sing a couple of simple hymns and my contribution would be easy and painless.

When I got the music, my heart dropped. One song was massive, big, and HARD. I haven’t really played the organ in 5 years and suddenly I was going to be playing for a choir with a director who has an opera company? Then I just started to feel sick.

The first two practices with the choir were disasters. I had practiced, but not to tempo and so I fell behind. I was playing with another person, so that was a relief, but it was just a lot to do.

So I stepped up my practicing. And my family carried me. My husband watched our children when I went to the church to play. My children prayed for me. They sacrificed time with me so I could practice. My mother prayed for me. She put my name on the temple roll. I prayed diligently. My husband prayed for me.

This morning, I arrived at the church at 7:30 a.m. to practice. And a miracle happened. My fellow organist and I were able to keep up with the director, we adjusted tempo, volume, pulled stops and pushed pedals. I started to feel a little less scared. After we practiced, the choir went into another room to fine tune some points and I followed. As I sat there, contemplating the music, I felt like angels would be there, helping us as the choir sang and as we played.

As we waited to actually perform the piece in stake conference, I felt calm and peaceful. We sat down on the bench, pushed buttons, played notes, pulled stops, pressed pedals and music came soaring from the organ and choir. I can’t even tell you how we sounded, so intent was I on playing. But I can say that I was carried through both pieces. My fingers moved smoothly and in time with the director and my heart swelled with the beauty of the message.

Sometimes I think we become afraid to take on new challenges, callings, or even experiences because of our weaknesses and fear. But when we do, we often miss out on being carried by family, God, and even friends. That’s a shame, because being carried feels safe.

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