So I’ve noticed quite a few people have read my post about the birds and bees, but only two have commented so far. I’m hoping you haven’t commented yet because you didn’t have time to fully respond and you’ll come back to it, right?
So here is where I am coming from. My sex education consisted of hearing and telling dirty jokes on the playground. I retold the jokes because I didn’t know what they meant or how bad they were. As I grew older, my mom gave me a book about puberty. The book mainly discussed the menstrual cycle and not much else. My religious perspective came from poorly taught chastity lessons in church, where we were basically told not to have sex or it would ruin us forever. (Check out this link for some spectactularly bad object lessons about chastity: http://segullah.org/small-epiphanies/hot-cinnamon-lips/hen ) When I was a senior in high school, I had a very good sex education course. It was done very well, discussed the body functions, mechanics of sex, plus the consequences of sex. I respected the teacher and she really handled the topics well, with dignity and honesty. I made a decision that I was going to wait to have sex until after I was married. It was a very conscious decision and one that was very important to me. It wasn’t until I was older, and did a lot of studying in the scriptures and in the current teachings of our church leaders, that I gained a deeper appreciation and understanding of the law of chastity and what it really was all about.
I don’t think the education I received, with the exception of the school course, was adequate to prepare me for the challenges I faced. If I hadn’t decided so clearly not to have sex, it would have been very easy to slip into a sexual relationship.
I’ve been determined to not repeat this pattern with my children. I believe that children need to understand their bodies and to have good knowledge to counteract the jokes, sly comments, and insinuations about sex. Aso, if I don’t teach my children about sex, someone else will–whether it be a kid at school, movies, books, etc.
Yes, I’ve taught my kids step by step about sex. At this point, we’ve talked about not making jokes or listening to jokes about sex. We’ve talked about private parts. I’ve also worked hard to help my children understand this plan of Happiness that we talk so much about at church. We’ve talked about respecting others’ bodies and our own bodies.As my pregnancy progresses,
The other day, Walter and I were watching an episode of 7th Heaven that dealt with teen pregnancy. I asked him if he understood what was happening. He said “they had sex when they were too young and before they were married.” When I asked him if he understood what sex is, he responded “it’s how two people make a baby, but I don’t want to know how they do it, because I’m only 9.” Clear enough. I respected his wish not to have that knowledge, but it is clear that kids are talking about sex at his school and on the bus.
I always thought I would just wait until my kids asked questions, but they haven’t asked me so far. I never asked my parents. So I’ve broached the topic with my kids. I’ve also made it clear that can ask me anything about it and I will answer honestly.
We’ll continue this pattern at home. Above all, I want to teach my children that sex is an important part of marriage that is worth waiting for. I want to teach them to control their passions and appetites and be in control of themselves.
I suppose, if you couldn’t tell already, that I do support sex education in schools. I agree that it is a sacred topic, but I really don’t think that most families are talking with their kids about sex. They have a conversation here or there, but it isn’t a consistent teaching. I think teenagers need good, accurate information. I do however, wish that some additions or changes would be made to the standard sex ed curriculum. I agree with all of you that it is the job of the parents to teach about the ethics and morality of sex. But a lot of times, this doesn’t happen at home. So I would recommend that a key part of any sex-ed curriculum should include a joint parent-student project where kids and parents discuss the morality and ethics of sex. This would give teenagers a chance to see where the parents stand. I would also like a sex ed curriculum to discuss not only the physical consequences of sex, but also the emotional consequences of sex.
A Stranger Here 